Looking Back

Thanksgiving is over, so in most circles the season of expressing "thanks" has passed. I feel the need to extend that season for our family. I want to live in a state of "Thanksgiving".
Psalm 30:11-12 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

I am thankful for the storms...
These past 5 or 6 years have been rough for our family. We have been through some trials that have tested just about every area of our faith. Some public and some still private. Looking back, I would change only one thing. It would be my faith. It is so hard to have faith in the midst of a storm, yet I found myself clinging on to the source of life. There were many times I felt so distant from God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2Corinthians 4:16-18
I found myself questioning "why me?", what have I done to deserve this. I was recently reminded, that for me to "deserve" anything bad, would mean that I could actually do something good enough to "deserve" anything good. We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind. (Isaiah 64:6)
My faith was weak, I was an autumn leaf! I withered and fell many times. I am eternally grateful to my God, who is strong enough to handle my doubt, faithful enough to carry me through my storms when it was to hard to walk, and merciful enough to not give me what I really deserve! He takes my filthy rags of righteousness and turns them into beautiful robes of praise. On the other side of this storm, looking back, I am thankful for all we have been through. It has strengthened my faith. I still don't understand it all, but I know that right now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. I do know that without having gone through tough times, I could have never experienced the true victory in Christ. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ! I have learned to wait on Him and His timing.. But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31